Staying Safe When Dating Over 60 in Australia

Here is the reassuring bit first. Meeting people online gives you something the old ways never did: time. You can chat for weeks, ask the questions you actually want answered, and only meet when you feel settled about it. Nobody can corner you by the barbecue before you have even decided whether you like them.

A little common sense covers almost everything. Below are the habits worth getting into, first while you are chatting, then for the day you finally meet.

While You Are Chatting Online

• Let the site do the gatekeeping. Your email address and phone number are kept private from other members, so you can talk freely without handing anyone a way to reach you outside the site. If a conversation goes nowhere, you simply stop answering.
• Stay on the site for a while. Someone who wants to move you onto WhatsApp, text or private email within a day or two is worth watching. Scamwatch lists that early move off the platform as a common warning sign.
• Mind what your photos give away. Before you upload, look past your own smile. A house number, a street sign, the name of a local business or a car registration plate can tell a stranger more than you meant. Crop it out, or pick another shot.
• Share details slowly. Your surname, suburb, workplace and birthday can all wait. Little scraps add up, and a patient stranger can piece them together.
• Money is never part of romance. No genuine match will ask you for money, gift cards, bank logins or card numbers, however long you have been talking and however sad the story. The same goes for a tip about an investment, often cryptocurrency, that they would love to help you into. Say no, and report the profile.
• Watch the pace. Grand declarations of love inside a week, from someone you have never seen on a video call, say more about their plans than their feelings.
• Be the real you in your own profile. A recent photo and your true age save an awkward moment at the table, and set the tone you would like back from others.
• You never need a reason to stop. If a chat leaves you uneasy, you are free to end it. Polite is nice; silence is fine too.

If something does not feel right, use the report button on their profile. For more on the warning signs, read our guide to spotting dating scammers.

Planning The First Meeting

By now you have swapped plenty of messages and perhaps a phone call or two. Meeting face to face is the fun part, and a bit of planning simply means you can relax and enjoy it.

• Pick a public place in daylight. A busy cafe at morning tea time, a stroll through a popular botanic garden, or lunch somewhere with other diners close by. Keep the first one short; a coffee can always turn into lunch if it is going well.
• Tell a friend the plan. Who, where, when and roughly how long. Agree that you will send a quick text when you arrive and another when you head home.
• Get yourself there and back. Drive, catch public transport or book your own ride. That way leaving is your decision alone, and your home address stays your business.
• Charge the phone. Then check it is in your bag and not still sitting on the kitchen bench.
• Keep a clear head. One drink is plenty on a first meeting. Keep your glass in sight, and if anything about your drink or food seems odd, leave it and tell the staff.
• Have an exit ready. A friend who rings at a set time gives you an easy way out if you want one, and a pleasant excuse to stay if you do not.
• Leave whenever you like. You owe nobody a second coffee. If your date becomes pushy or upsetting, ask the staff for help, and in an emergency call Triple Zero (000).
• Go gently on them too. Your date is probably every bit as nervous as you. If they wrap things up early, try not to read too much into it.

Then Enjoy It

Most first meetings are simply a pleasant hour with someone new, and some turn into a great deal more. Once the sensible bits are sorted, put them out of your mind and give the conversation your full attention. If you would like a few ideas for where to go, our first date ideas are a good place to start.

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