Online Senior Dating Safety Tips For The Over 60s

Online dating later in life can be a good deal safer than the old fashioned sort. You get far more choice, and you get to keep your distance from somebody who interests you for as long as you like, right up until you're ready to meet.

If you've never used a service like this before, or you've heard a few stories that put you off, here's how to go about it sensibly and get on with enjoying it.

• Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is, and you're under no obligation to give anybody the benefit of the doubt. Wind the conversation down politely if you can. If that doesn't work, or you feel awkward about letting somebody down, just stop replying. You don't owe a stranger an explanation.
• Be honest in your profile. The whole thing runs on trust. You wouldn't want somebody misleading you, and it works both ways. Fibbing online is easy enough, but it's very hard to look 60 across a table when you're actually 70.
• Think about what's in the background of your photos. Make sure nobody else is recognisable in them, family or friends, and check that your house, your street, your car or your numberplate aren't giving away where you live.
• Hold back personal details until you're certain who you're giving them to. Even then, there's plenty about yourself that can stay yours for a while yet.
• Your contact details stay protected. Sites like ours keep your email address hidden from other members, so if you stop replying to somebody inside your dating account, they have no other way of reaching you.
• Never discuss your finances, and never share bank or card details with another member. Nobody you meet through online dating has any reason to need them. The only time you'll ever enter payment details is when you upgrade your own account, and that happens in your account settings, never in a chat window. If you're ever unsure, ring our support team on the number below before you do anything.
• Don't be taken in by anybody who asks you for money. This holds even for somebody you've been talking to for months and have come to like and trust, because that's precisely how a romance scam is built. The friendship is the setup, and the request for help is the point of it. There's always a story: a medical bill, a customs charge, a business deal that's come unstuck, a plane ticket to finally come and see you. The answer is no, every time. Tell our support team, and report it to Scamwatch at scamwatch.gov.au, which is the Australian government's scam reporting service.
• Don't let anybody push you into sharing more photos or more information than you want to. "No" is a complete sentence, and anybody worth meeting will take it well.
• Don't be talked into meeting before you're ready either. This is your dating life and you set the pace. If somebody keeps pressing, that tells you something useful about them, and you needn't feel bad about ignoring them.
• If you're not sure somebody is who they say they are, ask for a recent photo. You can take it along when you meet, printed out or saved on your phone, and satisfy yourself that the person walking in is the person you've been talking to.
• Read your messages back before you send them. Written down, without your tone of voice attached, a bit of dry humour can land completely differently from how you meant it. Keep it warm and straightforward and you'll save yourself a few crossed wires.
• Be wary of anybody declaring undying love early on, particularly if you've never laid eyes on each other. Real affection takes a while. Anybody in that much of a hurry usually wants something.

Meeting Your Date In Person: Safety Advice

So you're ready to meet the person you've got to know online. This is the exciting part, and it's also the part where it pays to keep your head. Online dating with a service like ours is a safe way to meet people, but a bit of ordinary planning goes a long way once you step away from the keyboard.

Whether you've been doing this for years or you're heading out on a first date for the first time in decades, here are a few things worth doing.

• Don't let yourself be pushed into a date you're unsure about, and don't hand over personal details until you're comfortable.
• Keep your home address, your work address and your phone number to yourself until you're genuinely confident about the person.
• Steer well clear of anybody who wants to talk about sex or money before you've even met.
• For the first meeting, and the next few after it, pick somewhere neutral and public where there are other people within sight and earshot. A busy café, a pub with a decent lunch crowd, a table outside the shops. Daytime is easier than night for a first one.
• Tell somebody you trust the details: who you're meeting, exactly where, what time, and roughly when you expect to be home. If the plan changes on the day, let them know. There's nothing embarrassing about this. Plenty of people half your age do exactly the same thing.
• Take your phone, and keep whoever's expecting to hear from you in the loop. Some people arrange a code phrase beforehand so they can report in without it being obvious. "The food's better than I expected" might mean all is well, while "I didn't fancy the calamari" means come and rescue me.
• Trust your instincts on the day too. If something doesn't sit right, make your excuses and go. You have every right to end a date whenever you like, and you don't need a reason. If your date takes it badly, ask a staff member or somebody nearby for help. In an emergency, ring 000.
• Sort out your own transport there and back, and don't depend on your date for a lift. Have a cab number saved, or the rideshare app already set up on your phone, so leaving early is simple rather than awkward.
• If you need a way out, the old trick still works. Slip off to the bathroom, ring a friend, and ask them to call you back in five minutes with something that needs your attention.
• We'd suggest not sharing a taxi at the end of the night. If you can't avoid it, insist on being dropped off last so your address stays private, and if your date argues the point, don't share it at all.
• Go easy on the drink. A glass to settle the nerves is fine, but you want your wits about you. Keep your drink with you, and if you have even the faintest suspicion that a drink or a plate of food has been interfered with, leave it and tell somebody nearby straight away.
• Charge your phone before you leave. Obvious, and easy to forget when you're busy deciding what to wear.
• Remember your date is probably just as nervous as you are. Don't push, and don't talk anybody into anything they're not keen on.
• Try not to take it to heart if your date decides to call it a night early. Meeting a stranger is nerve wracking at any age. They agreed to come and meet you, which counts for something, so give them the same room you'd want yourself.
• And then relax and enjoy it. Most first dates are perfectly pleasant, plenty are good fun, and the sensible precautions above are there so you can stop thinking about them and concentrate on the company.

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